What it Feels Like to be in a Musical Rut

For the longest time, I was known among friends and peers as the girl who was always jamming a local band that nobody had heard of. I took pride in sharing my favorite songs and getting other people to take a listen to such talented musicians that just hadn’t been heard yet. Music was the one thing that kept me going on both good and bad days. Then I hit a road block.

The past few months I’ve been really struggling to find that passion that came along with listening to new music. Sure I’ve heard good records, met exceedingly talented musicians, and sang songs at the top of my lungs, but I hadn’t been able to find that one song that really makes you feel something. The one that shakes you to your core. It helps you reconcile with whatever hardships that you may going through and gives you goosebumps. Lately, it’s really been taking a toll on me emotionally. As someone who’s turned to music for comfort, not being able to feel that connection has been incredibly draining.

I guess it could be blamed on the changing weather. Chicago isn’t known for its sunny or warm winters. It’s dark by 4:30 PM and highs are usually below freezing. Getting out of bed to go to work is often hard enough without the pressure of feeling like there’s an important part of you missing.

Maybe I just haven’t been digging hard enough. There’s so much new music constantly being put on the market, so why am I not connecting with any of it? To put it one way – it often feels like my brain is a constantly changing radio station. There’s fantastic music playing on one station, but I end up switching to another before I’m able to hear it.

Whatever the reason may be for this funk, I know that I can’t let it keep me down. Part of me just wants the universe to send me a handpicked song just for my ears only that I know I’ll connect with. I know that it doesn’t work that way unfortunately. People always find it therapeutic to clean out your closet and toss everything that you don’t use anymore. I think it may be worth trying with my music library. Clear out the old to make room for the new. I’m not saying that the old is bad, but maybe it’ll open up my mind to a world full of music that I haven’t even thought about listening to before.

Here’s to the new year, trying new things, and feeling like your life is getting back on track.



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I'm a 22 year old college graduate who spends a lot of time wearing headphones, drinking coffee, and pondering what life is about.

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